There's so little money in my bank account, my sce... -Phyllis Diller

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There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

Phyllis Diller , Comedian
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Phyllis Diller Quotes to Explore

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor....
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going....
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once....
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home....
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?...
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up....
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day....
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out....
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron....
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them....

Money Quotes to Explore

Asset managers have different approaches, and I don't wish to suggest there is only one way to run money. There are many ways one can attempt to reduc...
When I first started fighting, it wasn't the easiest thing. I didn't have all the money in the world. I was eating Subway once in a while, some packet...
I use a credit card for everything - and I choose one of the ones which gives you money back....
I'm just raising money. Dead presidents are my relatives....
I've never made a film that lost money....
You keep your rent low, which takes some of the pressure off. So when I say 'no,' I mean 'no.' I don't mean, 'Give me more money.' I mean 'no.'...
Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement....
Money is a bad friend. Don't ever do anything for money....
I can inspire people on how to use money, how to get economically powerful....
Money doesn't buy happiness. But happiness isn't everything....