Alan Carr Quotes

Alan Carr is an English comedian, television presenter, and writer. He is known for his unique comedic style and quick wit, which have made him a popular figure in the entertainment industry. Carr's humor and infectious personality have earned him a dedicated fan base and numerous awards for his contributions to comedy.

I'm a comedian. I can't get a spray tan. I can't get a weave. I can't get my teeth done. Can you imagine if I came out on stage looking really hunky? Comedy doesn't work like that.

I think familiarity breeds contempt. I mean, we'll never get another Greta Garbo will we? Someone would go in with a camera Sellotaped to the bottom of a tray trying to get film of her with no make-up on.

Basically, I thought I had nothing to lose so I'd try my luck as a stand-up comedian. So even if it all failed, I was at the bottom of the food-chain anyway.

I think TV in general is camp. 'X Factor' is camp, 'Strictly Come Dancing' is camp. Basically, an orange man comes down some stairs and waves at the camera. People are drawn to that.

When things finish, you think, 'It's over' but you realise sometimes, it's just the beginning of something else.

I love a bit of 'Tipping Point'; I sit there and sometimes the dog starts watching it. It's just like the going in and out and the coins falling, it can be quite trance-like.

I don't like the attention that comes with TV.... -Alan Carr

I don't like the attention that comes with TV.

Even if people threw tomatoes at me and booed me off stage, at least you can wash out tomatoes, unlike nine hours of abuse from the general public which can affect your mental health.

It's dangerous when you start telling people they can't have an opinion on something. And, you know, you don't cancel someone, you engage with someone.

Explaining 'The Price Is Right' is probably going to make it sound like the most moronic show ever. I invite people out of the audience to guess the price of a series of household objects.

It seems the older I get, I hear about cancer more and more but not to get too totally depressed about it all - on a positive note you do hear about people surviving it more - thanks to the fantastic work done by the Stand Up To Cancer campaign.

My mum will never ask if I'm seeing anyone; I'm no... -Alan Carr

My mum will never ask if I'm seeing anyone; I'm not that kind of person anyway. I'm very private.

I don't want to patronise my audience.... -Alan Carr

I don't want to patronise my audience.

I was such a worrier at school. I wish I could go ... -Alan Carr

I was such a worrier at school. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop stressing.

Suggesting that just because someone who is on the telly has a superior moral viewpoint to someone who say, shelf stacks at Aldi is ridiculous.

Let's be honest, you're very selfish in your twenties, and in your thirties you are just trying to get a down payment for your flat or enough money to pay your bills.

There's a reason 'The Price Is Right' is on in every country in the world. It's simple, and people want to know the price of things. Plus we give away brilliant prizes.

A fortune-teller said my future lay in comedy.... -Alan Carr

A fortune-teller said my future lay in comedy.

It sounds like I work at Hallmark, but every day is a journey and you get better and that's the whole point of life.

I mean, I see the old interviews with Bette Davis or Joan Crawford, these characters clawed their way up - what stories.

Everyone was a footballer in my family. My grandfather Wilf played for Newcastle and my cousins play. It's in the blood.

But there's something delightfully old-school about sitting in the BBC - obviously wearing a bow tie and monocle - with a co-presenter who forgets there's a webcam in there. It's also nice to hear from the general public when they're not swearing at you or asking to extend their credit limit.

How can you explain to Americans who Kim Woodburn is? It's just nice, for once in my life, to not be the campest one in the room.

I'm old school, when I go on stage, I want every single person in that theatre to have the time of their life. I don't want to upset someone on their night off when they've been working all week.

With Stand Up To Cancer, every penny goes to Cancer Research UK. You are playing with people's lives. I knew I needed to get as much money as possible.

Girls don't want to hang around boys talking about 'The Golden Girls'. They want a boyfriend who turns up on a motorbike, don't they?

I'm not that good at knowing the price of things. Not because I live in a celebrity bubble, but just because I've always been rubbish at stuff like that.

I've already brought enough shame on the family wi... -Alan Carr

I've already brought enough shame on the family without halting the family tree.

I didn't want a ghost writer. I've got such a dist... -Alan Carr

I didn't want a ghost writer. I've got such a distinctive voice, people would smell a rat, I think.

To get your own chatshow, with your name in the title, my arena tour last year - that was another goal for me - I got my own radio show, again with my name in the title... Apart from rehab, there isn't really much on my to-do list!

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