Funny Quotes - Page 30

As for our majority... one is enough.... -Benjamin Disraeli

As for our majority... one is enough.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not s... -Josh Billings

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree... -Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know?

I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.... -Jimmy Kimmel

I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.

I love politics. It could be that, or it could be that my dad was always really big on, 'This is your job. You are going to work...' You know, it's really funny cause he was such a cowboy, and he doesn't like the concept of guys coming in like cowboys - unshaved and wearing flip flops - and stuff like that would eat him alive.

There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an actress. That's what I find so funny: that you become an actor, and all of a sudden, everyone wants to know about you. But I didn't become an actor so I could show you me.

For me personally, I just don't have anything to prove anymore. I know exactly who I am, I know that I'm intelligent and acting dumb or acting like whatever. If that's funny to me because I know it's false then so be it.

You can't really be strong until you see a funny s... -Ken Kesey

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I mig... -James Brown

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn... -Phyllis Diller

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

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