Funny Quotes - Page 4

I get a stack of scripts, like, once a month, and most of the time, you find these placeholder girls that are there to provide a bounce for the male character. So we know he's funny because she's serious and she's mad at him. We know he's strong because she needs saving. So really, her job is to validate this personality trait of our hero or male.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working.

People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.

I read part of it all the way through.

On some level in acting, what you're trying to find is truth, because when it's true is when it's also funny.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.

It sounds funny, but my biggest fear is that I'm not perfect. I'm a perfectionist, and I get upset when things go wrong or when I don't do well.

Communism is like one big phone company.

It's funny, because even though Bridgerton' is obviously a period drama, Anthony's story is quite modern in the sense that he's reached a point where he genuinely believes that love will never happen for him.

Tech is a funny industry; I don't think there is any other industry on the planet that reinvents itself every 10-12 years.

I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-swinging, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence - putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply - if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise.

I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.

I mean, autographs are so funny. I don't think it's good to encourage that sort of thing. Why do people want to have an autograph? What does it do for you?

I enjoy doing comedy that is why I pursue it. I believe that life is hard enough already and full of drama so I find things that are funny to use as material.

Before the Kennedys were elected, there had been older Presidents. Then here was this devastatingly attractive young couple with two beautiful children. They were so intelligent, graceful, gracious and funny. They enjoyed life so much. That's what caught America's eye.

I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sign for a kid before an adult. It's funny, because I was never big into autographs as a kid. The only player who I ever wanted an autograph from was Dave Winfield.

I grew up in a bit of a vacuum. And as a kid, you see 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' and you're like, 'Oh, it's a cartoon.' There's mixed media. It's funny, and there's stop-motion. But as an adult, you figure it out, how the entire underpinnings of their comedy was poking fun at the rank and file of the British aristocracy and the monarchy.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

I think I got a lot of my 'funny' DNA from my mother, who had a glorious sense of the ridiculous.

What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.